“I am still learning — how to take joy in all the people I am, how to use all my selves in the service of what I believe, how to accept when I fail and rejoice when I succeed.” — Audre Lorde
Last week, I spoke at a professional development event hosted by YNPNdc, Thursday Network (Young Urban League Professionals), and the African American Nonprofit Network: Paving the Way for African-American Leadership in the Nonprofit Sector. In our discussion groups, several of the young African American professionals expressed frustration at trying to keep their personal and professional identities separate. One woman said she wished that she could bring the same social networking skills she uses with her friends online on Facebook to her professional networks. She felt that her work-related colleagues might judge her harshly for the personality traits she shares online. I pointed out that she could find a happy medium where she could be her whole self online and off, encouraging her to stop trying to be two different people.
There is Only One You
Really. You’re just one person. There is no “personal Rosetta” and a “professional Rosetta”. Sometimes I’m at work, and sometimes I’m with my friends or family, but in both instances I’m the same person. So why do we act as if we have multiple personalities? The best nonprofit leaders are the ones that can connect with others on as many levels as possible. It’s okay to let people know that you’re more than what you do at work, because you are. You may be a program director at your nonprofit, but you might also serve at your church or coach your child’s basketball team. These details about your whole self are what make you interesting as a person, and allows others to find commonalities with you. Once you stop pretending as if you don’t have a life before 9 and after 5, you’ll be surprised at how many people will become drawn to you.
Remember That Online, Nothing is Really Done in the Dark Anyway
My grandmother is fond of saying, “what’s done in the dark will come to the light.” Well, contrary to what you may think, nothing online is done in the dark. In fact, everything is done in the light because everything can be shared. Everything. If you send a private message to your friend on Facebook badmouthing someone, that communication can be forwarded, emailed, or posted up on a blog somewhere. If you use foul language or express any type of opinions on Twitter, those can be Googled and found as well. Therefore, you should strive to represent yourself in the best light possible no matter what part of yourself you’re engaging. Just because we login to social networks with our email and passwords does not mean that it keeps our personal and professional lives separate. That is purely a myth, my dear readers.
Find a Balance Between Personal and Professional
It can be daunting trying to decide: what to share, what not to share online and off? A good rule I’ve used is that I never share anything that I wouldn’t mind if it showed up on the front page of the Washington Post. Now my privacy bar might be set a little lower than yours, but it’s never gotten me into trouble with my social networks. For example, I recently Tweeted about my breakup with my boyfriend and some of the insights I learned from that whole experience. If anything, it’s helped me to appear more human to the people I engage with as friends and colleagues. People feel like they know me better.
You Never Know How Your Social Networks Can Help You
I have 400 friends on Facebook, 300 contacts on LinkedIn, and 2,000 followers on Twitter. I tend to update my social networks several times a day, sharing what I’m doing at work, what I’m writing about on my blog, what music I’m listening to, or what I’m doing for fun on the weekend. I also share articles I’m reading (and my opinions on them) and blogs I recommend. I share bits and pieces of my professional knowledge as well as what’s going on with all of my other interests: music, food, arts, etc. The result is that many people see me not just as someone who knows a lot about nonprofits, but someone they like. To my networks, I’m someone they feel they know enough to hire for projects or recommend to their networks. That is what you want your personal brand to do for you. You never know when an opportunity will come along just because you shared bits of your life online or off. I’ve received most of my 25 speaking invitations in the past year through my social networks. My first paid consulting gig came about because someone I knew online recommended me to their colleague offline. I’m not sure whether that would have happened if I was known for throwing f-bombs all over Facebook, but you get the point.
Young nonprofit professionals have an enormous opportunity to use our social networks to enhance our reputation and help move us into positions of leadership. It’s time for us to shine, while our light’s on.
For more concrete and on-point advice and tools for personal branding that work for both blogging and other social networking, check out Michele Martin’s fabulous guide: Bamboo Project Readers’ Guide to Blogging for Personal Branding
Up Next: Shine While Your Light’s On: Remixing Twitter for Young Nonprofit Professionals
If your personality traits in your personal life are contradicting the personality needed to do the work in your profession, that sounds like a serious problem. Most of my friends share the same profession as I do so it’s much easier to communicate with them.
The hardest thing to do in this society is to be your true self. I find that there are a lot of people who feel in their minds that they have to put up a front to mask their weaknesses in the workplace. Just be real with yourself and with others. People are attracted to people who have a pulse and willing to be open and honest with your feelings about certain situations.
If you are the type of person who is a Debbie Downer and participate in office politics all the time, why would someone want to deal with someone like that personally and/or professionally? I know that I don’t like dealing with pessimistic people period.
If your personal life affects the work that you need to do for a client, boss, whatever, then that’s a problem as well. You do need to keep your personal life separate because if its affecting performance, then that’s a question of how well you deal with stress under pressure. Take a day maybe a week off to deal with your personal life outside of the office and then return to work.
Your co-workers, bosses, clients, vendors, etc. don’t necessarily have to be your best friend. They can but its not mandatory. But also realize that people are attracted to people who are personable and have a personality.