Photo by JPhilipson

“Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down.”

- Ray Bradbury

I don’t often write such long, introspective pieces about my personal leadership journey, but I wanted to share with you, dear readers, a little about this next stage of my life as it relates to the work I’ve been doing for the last two years through this blog.  I’m writing you from a hotel in Virginia Beach where I’ve just started school as a full-time PhD student at Regent University’s School of Global Leadership and Entrepreneurship. Yesterday was my first day of residency as part of the PhD in Organizational Leadership. Last Friday was my last day of working full-time at the Nonprofit Roundtable of Greater Washington.  As of May 18, I’ll be a part-time employee there as Director of Development and Special Programs. So I’ll still be in Washington, DC and I’ll still be teaching as an Adjunct Professor at Trinity University, consulting, and, of course, blogging.

Many of you have asked me why I chose to go back to school to pursue a PhD. I will tell you that it took a lot of soul-searching to get to this moment. Over the past year, I’ve been having this very real internal struggle about how I was living out my values in respect to doing the work of social change. For the past seven years, I’ve had the privilege to work on behalf of nonprofits in Richmond, Virginia and the DC region, fundraising as well as building capacity in organizations and supporting current and future nonprofit leaders. The work I’m most proud of is getting the opportunity to develop and implement a pilot program called the Future Executive Directors Fellowship for aspiring nonprofit CEOs. This work has really and truly been a learning experience for me and an important growth point in my career. But I still kept reading and rereading my personal mission statement, and I had this nagging feeling that through writing and teaching, I was really being called to a different place.

Staying True to My Personal Mission
This is my current mission statement: I value education, achievement, adventure, creativity, and independence. I especially value authenticity in myself and others. I appreciate laughter, good food, music, art, poetry and culture. Before I die, I want to have made a positive impact on the world for young people and people of color. As a writer, professor, consultant, and volunteer, I can lead according to my values by teaching others and helping nonprofits reach their goals. I will network to stay connected to others who are living a life of purpose. In my journey to take care of others, I will not neglect my own family, friends, finances, health, or spirituality.

I realized that what was nagging at me was the fact that yes, I was contributing in many ways in supporting young people in doing the work of social change, but was I really doing that as a fundraiser? Did my purpose lie in grantwriting? Probably not. And was I really working on behalf of people of color? Sort of, but not so much. I was concerned that since I’m in such a good place in my career in DC, that I would cease to continue speaking up and out for black and brown people in this sector. That I would stop taking risks on my reputation just so I could keep my nice little paycheck. I wondered, as we all do at some point, what’s the smartest thing I can do with the time I have been given here on earth? Which of my talents should I be using to make a difference? I have always been, first and foremost, a writer. I recognize the power of words to change people’s minds. That’s what I’ve been trying to do on this blog for two years – to change the way the nonprofit sector views the “ideal leader” and help our field to really see young people and people of color as forces for necessary social change. How can we accelerate learning to help folks acquire the kind the leadership skills we need to create the world as it should be? I came to the conclusion that personally, I could probably lead more effectively as a writer and teacher than as a cog in the wheel of any nonprofit organization. How could I pursue a path where my own research and thought leadership could help shape the dialogue about nonprofits, social change, and engaging young people and people of color in the conversation? I thought about the impact of Dr. Cornel West and so many others whose academic scholarship has done so much to help people of color in America. And that’s when I decided.

Taking the Risk
What would you do if you were not afraid? What would you do if you knew you could not fail? I asked myself these questions late last year as the admissions application deadlines loomed for different PhD programs I was considering applying to. Most of you know that I’ve been teaching graduate courses in nonprofit management as an Adjunct Professor at Trinity University in DC for the past year. It’s actually because of my writing on this blog that I was offered that opportunity. Of course, I still have a LOT to learn about teaching in academia versus being in a community setting, but I absolutely love it. I’ve always been a nonprofit nerd, but it is the study of, and the dialogue about, leadership that really excites me. I’ve also been incredibly inspired over the last year by Heather Carpenter and Lindsey McDougle, two next generation nonprofit PhD students out in California that are doing incredible things for our sector through academia. So I decided that I really wanted to go back to school so that I could become a full-time professor one day if I wanted to, and also push myself toward publishing the kind of books that change people’s minds. But the fear of being a broke student again loomed over my head. How would I make enough money and be able to go back to school full-time? The fear of having to live from hand to mouth kept washing over me like a tidal wave. Time kept passing as I thought about it, the admissions deadlines getting closer and closer and I realized that if I didn’t go back to school now, I might run the risk of putting it off forever. The full-time jobs would always be there. The money would come.

Leading by Faith
Many of you have asked me why I chose to attend Regent University for my PhD program. You may know the school by the renown of our retiring president Pat Robertson, of CBN/700 Club fame. Regent’s motto is, “Christian leadership to change the world.” I have not talked much about my faith here on this blog (though maybe I should), but I do believe that I am a child of God, and my purpose here on earth comes from knowing that. I was attracted to Regent because of their motto as well as the low-residency, distance learning format they provide. However, I did have concerns about being associated with a school that was founded by leaders whose extremely conservative religious and political views I don’t necessarily agree with. Yes I believe in God, but I’m also a Democrat, pro-choice, and I support equality for the LGBT community. So I’m happy to say that after meeting my fellow PhD students that everyone here is not a carbon copy of Pat Robertson. Being in a classroom with 50 other people of faith is an incredible experience. Our cohort is also very racially diverse – about 50% people of color.  My hope is that my time at Regent will serve to strengthen my own spirituality and help guide my leadership path in a way that fulfills my individual purpose.

What I Know for Sure
As I listened to Dr. John Jackson speak last weekend at the Association of Black Foundation Executives’ Annual Meeting, I figured out the one thing that I know for sure. Sometimes fear just means go. In this life, you absolutely have to do that thing you’ve always wanted to do. You have to go to that place you’ve always wanted to go. To paraphrase Dr. Jackson:  this nonprofit work, this philanthropic work, this organizing work is our part of the movement. This leadership work is MY part of the movement. It is indeed a very personal and individual struggle to achieve real social change. But that’s why we were put here. To continue the work of those who came before us. Each one of us has a role to play in this thing called humanity. And the smartest thing we all can do – right here and right now – is to live out our values as authentically as possible through our work.

I hope that all of you dear readers will support me as I transition into this new stage of my professional life. It is at once scary and liberating to go off into the unknown without the security that a full-time job provides. I continue to provide speaking, training, consulting, writing, and social media services to organizations working for social change, and of course I would love for you to hire me. You can stay updated with the work I’m doing by viewing my portfolio where I will also be posting samples of my academic research as well.  If you enjoy this blog, you may want to subscribe now to receive updates by email or RSS Feed so that you don’t miss anything in the future. You can also sign up for my quarterly newsletter, Homeplace, the leadership e-mag (you’ll automatically receive the latest April 2009 issue!). Follow me on Twitter @rosettathurman for daily links about nonprofits, leadership, and living our best lives.

I don’t know exactly what will happen from this point forward, but I do know that I will not blink in what Seth Godin calls “that moment”:

When you are sitting right on the edge of something daring and scary and creative and powerful and perhaps wonderful… and you blink and take a step back.

That’s the moment. The moment between you and remarkable. Most people blink. Most people get stuck.

All the hard work and preparation and daring and luck is nothing compared with the ability to not blink.

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