“I believe the single most important thing, beyond discipline and creativity is daring to dare. ” – Maya Angelou
Most of you know that I’ve recently gone back to school as a full-time PhD student at Regent University’s School of Global Leadership and Entrepreneurship. I am pursuing the PhD in Organizational Leadership. It’s been about a month since I started my first semester, and it’s high time I gave all of you dear readers an update. In just a month, I’ve learned a lot not only from my PhD program, but about leadership and life itself. I’m grateful to have this blog as a space to reflect.
The Privilege
The first day of my PhD residency, I sat in orientation wondering what in the hell I had gotten myself into. The rigor of the program as presented by our program director and professors was enough to make even the most zealous student turn and run screaming out of the room. It was definitely impressed upon me the serious commitment I had made by accepting the challenge of a PhD program. As the week progressed, however, I began to see the work as both a challenge and a privilege. Only one percent of Americans have PhDs, and now I see why. It is an intense personal and professional endeavor. There would be sacrifices necessary and my already busy lifestyle would become even more hectic with the addition of reading, coursework and research. Our professors indicated that we’d need at least 24 hours per week to complete the reading and coursework related to the program. I was glad I had already made the decision to decrease my hours at work to become a part-time employee at the Nonprofit Roundtable. I wondered how the other students who worked full-time with families would handle the workload. Then I realized that if they could do it, I would be absolutely crazy to complain.
The Challenge(s)
I quickly realized that this PhD program is probably one of the hardest things I will ever do. In undergrad and grad school, I was always an “A” student and pretty much breezed through my time in college. But in this program, my pride is being challenged by having to study much longer and harder just to obtain comprehension of the leadership and research concepts we are studying.Much of the reading has been arduous, since it is all theory-based, and my passion is for the application of it all. One of the texts I really like is Leadership in Organizations by Gary Yukl. I highly recommend it because it nicely blends both leadership theory AND application.
Since Regent University is a Christian school, I’ve also been challenged with applying biblical principles to support ideas about leadership. I had not studied the Bible seriously in many years, though I took both religious studies and philosophy in college and read the entire Bible – Old and New Testaments – many times. But I never had to examine it as critically as I do now in applying Scripture to how people lead their lives. I’ve learned a lot about my own relationship with God through this process. It is difficult, but rewarding.
There’s No Such Thing as School/Work/Life Balance
I’ve learned that there is no such thing as balance, especially when you’re in a PhD program. The best thing is to try as much as possible to integrate each part of your life so that they all work together without sacrificing one for the other. This has been hard for me to swallow, in part because when I first applied to the program, my focus was on getting the degree so that I could do other things to fulfill my purpose, like teaching full-time and publishing research to help nonprofit leaders and people of color. My problem was that I kept thinking of going back to school as a stepping stone to get somewhere else, to this mythical place of professional & financial success. I say mythical because I realized that if I just saw this PhD program as simply a means to get to some higher echelon of my life, I’d be demoralized pretty quickly. There is no instant gratification in pursuing a PhD. It will take two-three years just to finish your coursework, and then at least a year after that to complete your dissertation. I told myself I would have to learn to appreciate both the joys and frustrations of studying in a PhD program. It’s a long-term journey, not something I can just check off my list and be done with it in a year or two.
I was just remarking on Twitter that I feel like I have more time now that I work three part-time jobs versus one full-time job. My time is divided up the way I want it to be, and it’s much easier to set boundaries when you work part-time. I still serve as Director of Development & Special Programs for 20 hours a week. I teach one class a semester on Thursday nights at Trinity University in DC. I get paid to blog career advice for young nonprofit professionals on Jobs for Change through Change.org. In all of these part-time roles, I set my own hours that probably add up to about 30-35 a week, but in the end I get paid about the same salary I was making in my full-time job. And I was also able to negotiate keeping full healthcare benefits. The beauty is that I don’t have to be in an office all the time, and I can still provide value to three organizations with my fundraising, writing, and teaching skills. I remember there were times at my full-time job in fundraising when I felt completely overwhelmed in my office under constant email and piles of to-do lists. There was so much to do, I tended to eat lunch at my desk trying to get it all done. But when you only have 20 hours to spare in a week, all of the must-dos become so clear. My to-do lists became shorter and more impactful for the organization. I focus on writing grant proposals, donor stewardship, and building relationships with current and prospective donors. I take lunch breaks away from the office or take a walk in the park near my job. And when the clock strikes 5pm, I go home.
What I’m trying to get at is the reality that my PhD program, while time-consuming and challenging, is just one part of my life journey that parallels. You live, love, and learn all at once. Your life isn’t out there, after you finish your degree. It’s right here, right now, waiting for you to enjoy each day of it. And sometimes, when you look too far ahead, you can’t see all the great things right in front of you. Once I changed my outlook, I embraced the fact that this life can be an amazing daily journey. It is really up to us to make it so.
My First PhD Research Paper
I told you that I would be posting my research as I go through my program. This first paper was for an assignment to write a popular press article about a leadership issue in organizations. I will probably look back at this amateur effort and laugh. But here it is. It’s really hard for a blogger to become an academic writer! Please feel free to share if you find this article useful. Thank you for growing with me in my PhD journey!
Decentralize or Die: Reshaping Organizational Culture to Maximize Innovation (May 2009)
Photo credit: Chris Seufert
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